So much yoga. So many fantastic people in my life. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about all of this and how much I feel like a better, happier version of me. The commitment and kindness and integrity present in this group of thirty people (plus super-amazing teachers!) is simply astounding. They're good people, people who get it, who care, who want to create a better world through their actions. We may not have much in common beyond yoga, but that in itself is enough.
Yesterday at Teacher Training we went around and talked about our favorite memories from the past five weeks. People talked about the things that they learned, the changes they can see in themselves and how they live their lives, and the really awesome sense of community that we've all had since day one. I couldn't articulate it fully at the time, but for me the most exciting moment came after we finished team teaching our first class in the middle of week 3. All of a sudden I had this sense that "I can do this." I didn't think that it would be easy, or that the classes I teach will be perfect, but I just knew that somehow I would make it through this training and come out the other side a stronger person and a good yoga teacher. You all know me, and how much I doubt my own abilities and underestimate myself.
I've always been a 'might' person. I might be able to do lots of things, but if I only say that I might succeed at it, any eventual failure won't matter as much. I usually don't fail, but I always have that little bit of built in protection just in case I do. Because of all the work I've done lately on forgiving myself and accepting me for who I am, I've realized that I don't need to be a might person anymore. Failure is okay, and is never actually failure if you're willing to forgive yourself for it and accept it as a learning experience. If you're not going to fail, you can go ahead and commit yourself fully to an experience with the knowledge that, whatever the result, you will be okay.
This teacher training might not end up how I want it to. I would love to be a teacher at CorePower a few months from now and have the chance to share how awesome yoga is with the rest of the world, but if that doesn't happen there will be other opportunities for me at other yoga studios or gyms. I've decided to accept the possibility of things not working out how I want them to, but that does not mean that I'm not going to try my hardest to make my goal happen. I will be the best yoga teacher in training I can be and give CorePower lots of good reasons to hire me. Yes I will, because I can.
On a completely different note, I'm reading The Count of Monte Cristo in French. It's amazing how different a novel can feel when you read it in the original language.